February 14, 2012

That Beloved Hole

My trip to the Post Office yesterday resulted in a providential encounter with a dear lady. I planned to brave the crowds that are inevitably present at any location and at any time of day, and renew my passport for my potential upcoming internship in the Philippines. The dear older woman that ran the passport counter, ushered me into a little conference room so we could take pictures, sit, and review my application.

The anticipated question came quickly, "Where do you plan to go?" I proceeded to explain my chosen trade (midwifery) and the maternity clinic in Davao City. Her questions became more pointed and soon led to discussion about church planting, being a daughter-at-home, and courtship. When we broached the subject of courtship and my prayers for the Godly husband that I believe the Lord has been preparing for me, my new friend seemed to have an epiphany. Her eyes were wide and gleaming, and she exclaimed, "You know who does work in the Philippines is that Tim Tebow! It sounds like you would be perfect together. You should write to him!"

While part of me was not surprised that she made a connection between Christian young adults based on the values I described to her in those few short minutes, another part of me was inspired to consider yet one other aspect of preparing my own heart for my Beloved.

I have never had a picture in my mind of an "ideal" man. I don't try to imagine what he may look like (though I hope he is significantly taller than me) or the profession that he has chosen. This is to my advantage, I believe, and a blessing from the Lord. I am preparing myself to avoid disappointment by not giving him any preconceived notions to contrast. I might like to jest-fully say that I need to find a chiropractor or a pediatrician. But what I want in all honesty, is a man who is diligently following the path that God has set before him.

I have also realized the sheer breadth of skill and information that I have absolutely no knowledge of or passion for. Football is one of those things (the initial inspiration for this thought in the first place). However, I also feel like this is a gift from the Lord! He is preparing my husband to be a man that I can look up to for his ideas, skills, and diligence. He is also preparing me to be in awe of the man that he is and for my Beloved's passion to become my passion.

I currently have no guess as to what he does or the ways that he serves the Lord, but I trust that he is accomplishing things for both the Heavenly and earthly kingdoms. If he is a plumber, then I will become passionate about plumbing with him. If he is a football player, then I will become passionate about football with him. He is my desire. What a joyful thing to realize that I am a whole, new creation in Christ, and yet the Father has left a hole in my heart; just the right size and shape for my Beloved to fill.